A line from one of those Rocky movies says," if you can take his heart, you will beat him." It is the trainer's voice from in the corner...and a lesson in how to destroy someone from the inside. I have done that, or at least caused a grievous injury, and I am "gutted." Take a man's heart and you have beaten him without a single blow. But...
there is a love waiting, a love that wafts through a man's heart as the scent of spring roses...a love that is bottomless as a glacial lake-cool, clear, timeless....a love that is white-hot and blue, burning eternally, giving out it's heat to the one as it consumes itself...joyously.
There is a hope that begs to stretch it's wings and fly on the breath of an unborn child, dreaming herself into life. She has a name and I have seen her in my slumbers.
There is a day, a very special day chosen from thin air by one who cannot reason but waits for her own demise. It has a number-517. Two would be joined on that day, burned together as one for eternity, cooled by the healing patient waters, solid, impermeable as stone...forever in embrace.
And there is a faith newly seeded, grown up from suffering by love's promise as a new sapling of a Sequoia pulls itself up to greet the sun.
Forever this love, this hope, this faith resides in his heart for her and for them. Forever is calm in the wanting, for time is spinning and change is blowing across the distance...to return.
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2 comments:
I got your phone message and have read your blog. You writing is beautiful but I don't understand your words. I read them but don't know what you want me to know, what you want me to do. I can't allow myself hope, and I can't allow myself to be led on. It's too much for me right now. This is the hardest time, such a painful and rebuilding time for me, and I have so much doubt and fear. I am glad that you are working things out for yourself, I am, and I'm glad that you are in therapy because I believe in therapy as you know. I hate that you have to be on meds, but all of this is not what I can focus on. You know how I feel about you, but I am broken from all of this and I have to focus on my healing. I have to take care of myself.
Saturday - 2/24. The package with the clothes and phone arrived today. I can only hope you were unaware of the note she wrote me and put between the box and the wrapping, and the message she wrote on the underside of the parcel, even though she wrote your name beneath it. I cannot imagine that you would be a participant to such cruelty, but hers seems to know no bounds. I didn't need more pain but have it now nonetheless.
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