Comfortably Numb

I love Pink Floyd for a variety of reasons, and this song in particular for it's soaring solo, but I speak of it because the title states so clearly how I feel right now. My material needs are met by the grace of my ex-wife, but I am numb from the pain of separation, depression, my heart run"through a blender." I have hurt so many people in my search for happiness and to rid myself of my past self-concepts. I apologize unreservedly to all my family, friends, and to someone very special. I never meant to hurt any of you, and I love you all!! Please forgive me.

I am trying to renew and re-invent myself, find the courage to go on and leave weakness behind. I try to regain some faith and hope, but they are elusive. I just keep climbing.

Sanity now! I know, I twisted the phrase some, but that is how I see my daily life right now-getting a grip on my emotions. It is a struggle at least, monumental some days, but I am gaining ground. I will soon be working, hopefully, and that will ease some of my concerns. But right now in the desert I see grey skies and feel cold winds, and they remind me of February, of mourning, of loss.